One and a half year of fatherhood
"It is not what happens to you but how you react to it that matters"–That, my friend, is how to raise a child.
A lot has changed since eighteen months ago when my partner and I went to the hospital for a Covid test only to end up being admitted for an emergency C-section operation.
My son will be eighteen months tomorrow. That’s one and a half year of fatherhood right there! He will be starting preschool. It will be the first time he’d be spending considerable time outside the house without his parents. I have been examining my feelings about this new development.
My fatherhood journey has taught me that every developmental stage in my son’s growth always demand an appropriate reaction from his mum and I. I remember when he started crawling we had to rearrange the furniture in the house to accommodate his new found human right to movement.
Since last month my partner has repeatedly fussed about our son becoming too physically strong for her to handle during his diaper change. I will know about that as his primary carer during the week. I remember how I used to have him in his carrier strapped on me, strolling to all his favourite spots. He enjoys the treat better from the comfort of my chest but the luxury has become scarcer. He has become bigger so it is the stroller or no strolling now. Easy decision.
Aside being bigger and stronger, my son now interacts in a way that shows he has thoughts going on his little head. This is an interesting stage in fatherhood for me. My partner and I have often joked about babies being automative like programmed robots. Living with one who has transitioned into a thinking toddler before our eyes is just incredible. The way he tries to outwit either of us and the sense of power and control he gets when he thinks he has, is interesting to observe.
As much as this interesting, it could also be frustrating. Kids trying to assert themselves as an independent human beings comes with a lot of defiance that demands appropriate reaction from parents or guardians. It is a familair terrain into adulthood and independence. Like in my present case, I know our challenge will get trickier when my son begins schooling next week. He would start mixing with other kids from different backgrounds and perhaps have a new understanding of free-will.
Sometimes I get exasperated trying to positively infuence my son’s choices in spite of his defiance without resulting to shouting. Ouh, not easy at all. Those lil mosters will test you.
How do you handle the defiance when your child start thinking and testing boundaries? Are you going to be the parent that makes them believe it is okay to hit the other/weaker person when displeased? Best believe they’d be the child that becomes that adult. And you’d be gettting a lot of calls from the school proprietress in the meantime.
I found this useful article on developing the appropriate reaction to kids defiance as a parent. It resonates with me and I hope you find it useful too.
Yours in Fatherhood,